Jane had just graduated from university and found her dream job in an advertising company. She loves her job but she has problems fitting in with the working environment, especially with her colleagues. Do not get me wrong. She is a bubbly person with great personality and has no problem mingling with people whom she just met. Listen to this.
There are only 2 females in Jane’s department. Well, the other girl dresses more like a guy and all the other guys treat her as if she is one of them. Maybe that is one of her ways to get around with them. They threw things at her, like paper and some other hard objects, which gave Jane a shock when she first witnessed that. They also go for cigarette breaks together, leaving her alone in the office. Jane does not smoke. Occasionally, her colleagues also hit the bar after work to chill out (and get drunk, in case you guys think it is just social drinking) but she has been refusing them. Yes, she cannot tolerate alcohol as well. Well then, what is the problem when she does not mind not getting invited to cigarette breaks and chill out sessions since she does not smoke and drink?
In the beginning, she thought it will be fine because they respected her stands and she had no problems in delivering her assignments and pleasing the boss. But now, she feels that something is missing. She does not feel offended or left out just because she is not invited. What made her feel bad is she that does not get along so well with them. It is because she was left out of their routine breaks; during which they share secrets or have small talks with each other. It is the bonding that she misses.
As for Jane’s colleagues, they might feel that she is pretending to be an ‘all-goody-girl’. For them, it is rare to find people who don’t smoke and drink, especially so in the advertising industry. It might not be as bad for them as they already have a clique at work. What they might be feeling is that she doesn’t want to be associated with them.
What would you do if you are Jane?
Bird!
14 years ago
6 comments:
Hey Audrey!
After reading your post, I found out that Jane's colleagues might not be all that hard to get along with since they respected her stands and do not give her any major problems when it comes to work. Then, the only possible reason why things might end up this way would be because they did not even try to take a step further to know her better. They might have jumped to a conclusion that because she does not live the same lifestyle, she's an outsider.
Indeed, working in a company requires not only a pleasant working environment, bonding with fellow colleagues is also of equal importance! As such, it is only right for Jane and her colleagues to work out something to improve their relationship.
There are 3 approaches I feel could possibly help to alleviate the situation if i were Jane.
Firstly, since there are only 2 females in the department and it is always easier to start with the same gender, I could try to take the initiative to get to know the other female colleague better. Dressing up like a male may look intimidating, but that does not neccessarily mean that she is hard to get along with. With that, I could ask her out to lunch or perhaps find a chance to start building up a friendship.
Secondly, in order to foster a bond, both parties have to start from somewhere. In this case, I could take the first step. A possible choice would be to invite my colleagues to join in in a certain activity that I like to do, or ask them out for a meal at my home or somewhere with good ambience. In such a way, my colleagues would then be given an opportunity to know the real me better and not think that I'm pretending to be a goody-two-shoes. They might slowly come to realise that perhaps I view certain things differently. For example, it is not that i don't drink, perhaps my idea of a chill out session isn't getting drunk but a good meal, a drink and an engaging conversation with friends.
Last solution would be for me to give in a little. Instead of adhering so rigidly to my lifestyle, perhaps I could be more flexible and join them for one of their chill out sessions. However, that does not mean that I have to get dead drunk like my colleagues do. I believe all I have to do is to let them know that maybe one drink is my limit and be firm about it. I'm sure my colleagues will be pleased to have me join them and not harp on the issue that I restrain myself to one drink.
So, in order for Jane to improve this situation, I believe she has to take action first, and being her colleagues who are able to respect her stands in work, I'm sure they would be willing to open up to Jane's way to living and see if a compromise can be reached.
Like I said in my comment in Van's post, give and take. Jane has to sacrifice something in order to bond with her colleagues. On the other hand, as her colleagues, they should be more understanding towards her when it comes to such leisure activities.
Cheers! (:
I agree with Sherlynn that Jane could take the first step to join in certain activites her colleagues do.
But what I am worried is what if it does not work.
We know that Jane is not the kind of person who has problem in mingling with others. Jane's colleagues are not bad people either. Then,what is the problem?
I guess it is only because there is distinction between the culture of Jane's company and her personal life style.
So I have this question: should we become a person that please everybody as to know what are the small talks they are having everyday? I guess if Jane went to club with her colleagues as frequent as them,Jane would have hard time at work in daytime. Everyone has their life style,and expecially in this case,Jane has a healthy life. Should Jane change her healthy life to a bad one just to get bond with her colleagues?
I suggest,if Jane found it was really difficult to fit in the culture of her colleagues',she could just change to another company.
This is an interesting scenario, Audrey, one which you explain quite well. I think you do a good job detailing the work situation and the characters involved. You've also asked a specific question and inspired good feedback. Thank you for the fine effort!
p.s. There are two sentences that have minor problems:
1) What made her feel bad is she that does not get along so well with them.
2) What would you do if you are Jane?
Thanks Brad.
Should it be:
1) What made her felt bad was not being able to get along with them.
2) What would you do if you were Jane?
Sorry, I have some issues with my grammar.
She should try to talk to her colleagues about her disinterest in alcohol and cigarettes, and her interest in forming bonds and relationships with them.
However, she should be extremely careful to not sound like she is criticizing them. The goal is to show her colleagues her respect and seek for their understanding. Also, she should understand that her colleagues do not dislike her and accept the fact that her colleagues have different living styles. She can take initiative to interact with them in many healthy ways such as making small talk during meals or some outing-trips. She could try to find out some common interest with her colleagues, and there should be. She just has to be positive and keep looking.
After all, if the situation does not improve, she could ask for a transfer to a new department where people drink and smoke less.
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